I realize just how out of shape I am when I go for a run. One Nike in front of the other. Deep breaths over and over again. I wish I could be one of those people that just loves to run. But nope, not this girl! It’s funny though; when I do get going, my mind wanders. I see other people running, walking the dog, or maybe just simply getting the kids out of the car.
I wonder to myself, do they like running? Are they out here like me…struggling? Or is this their way to get away from the struggles? Is this their release? Because let’s face it, whether I’m speaking about getting back in shape or something much bigger than that…
EVERYONE STRUGGLES.
And in the words of Marvin McFadden: (I should warn you now..I’m a big One Tree Hill fan)
“Do I wish I was doing better? Sure, but I’m not alone in that. A lot of people are struggling right now. All I can do is keep trying, ya know. Get up. Work Hard. Pay the bills. Hope for something better. I think there’s nobility in that.That woman or man who’s waiting for the bus after a long day’s work. Parents who come home tired and still find time for their kids. That’s who I’m rooting for. That’s who I respect.”
I mean, come on, don’t you? Maybe you’re one of those unsung heroes. Someone who no one would ever know is struggling because you keep putting one foot in front of the other. You keep a smile on your face for your kids, your spouse, or maybe just yourself. But here’s what the world is just now starting to tell us: IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.
Everyone struggles. To you it may seem small but to them it may be their hardest hurdle at the time. It may be wondering where the next meal for their family is going to come from or figuring out a new job because they just got fired. Or it may be just going for a run to try and get back in shape. Here are 3 tips I’ve found helpful when I’m struggling:
- B R E A T H E. I know that sounds so simple. Duh…I’m going to breathe obviously. But science literally tells us that slow, deep breaths sends a signal to our brains that activates our parasympathetic nervous system. This slows us down and tells us that we don’t need to activate our fight or flight response. More specifically, if we exhale longer than we inhale is what really helps our brains. So my therapist (therapy is amazing but we’ll talk about that later) suggests that you count to 4 on your inhale and count to 6 on your exhale. Do this at least 5 breaths in a row. HERE’S a YouTube video that can walk you through this type of breathing. This helps us to focus on the reality of things and not react in a negative way but rather in a logical one.
- Find a hobby that brings you JOY! This can be literally anything at all. I have found that even if you do a hobby you truly enjoy just a few minutes 1 time a week, your mental health is so much better at handling the negative things life throws your way. If you’re not sure what hobby you enjoy, check out this blog Hobbies Bucket List. Denzel Washington (one of my favorites) states in a graduation ceremony speech “Don’t be afraid to fail big. To dream big. But remember dreams without goals, are just dreams. If you don’t fail, you’re not trying.” You may not know you enjoy something because you’ve never tried it! Don’t be scared to try a new hobby–just find joy. True joy…not happiness. Make sure you know the difference.
- Tell Someone! We are told in our society to not let others see us struggle. Life isn’t fair and if you don’t have it all together, you’re weak. L I E S! How in the heck does that even make sense? Every logical person in the world, knows that it is literally impossible to go through life without struggles. So in reality, every single person walking on planet Earth has struggled, is struggling, or is going to struggle. So why in the world would we ever be embarrassed about it? Everybody does it! You will feel so much better if you find someone you can tell your struggles to. A family member, a friend, a co-worker, a therapist…anybody! Just tell someone! I promise it will help.
So here’s the best part! If you need help with any of this–a person to vent to, a hobby idea, more tips that a real human has tried before you–I’m here! I would love to have you follow along as I begin this journey of blogging. Contact me through social media or by clicking HERE. Also please share with me if there’s a particular topic you would like me to cover and I will add it to the list!